I have so many wishes in my heart lately, but I have no-one to really share them with, not anymore. Those that I might be able to are too busy with their own things & it would be an undo burden on them or others would probably laugh at my small wishes that I think it would break my heart.
I wish I was a stronger person so this hollow tinny feeling I have would go away and not push me closer to the razor’s edge. I wish I wouldn’t cling so close to people when I get lonely. I’m an introvert and prefer quiet with a few people than the loud parties most other people like with the big crowds, so I wish for those quiet times again. I haven’t had any of those in many years now. I miss getting hugs from friends. I miss being able to go and talk to people when I am feeling down. I want to be a better person but I can’t see a way to be her anymore. It’s like I’m stuck in a really thick, dense darkening fog in a late evening. I can’t see any way out or any light to guide me through. No one is looking for me and no one ever will. I am alone and always will be.